glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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