theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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