Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
