Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
