mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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