I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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