they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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