Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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