their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
