i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
