I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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