Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
