You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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