In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
