Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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