That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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