GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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