Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize