so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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