AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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