He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
