break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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