You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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