just tell him i said nine months
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
