i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
