Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
