Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just found puke in my bra..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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