we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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