after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
