i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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