You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
