Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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