Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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