The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
