i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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