We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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