Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
