i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
