He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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