I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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