Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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