Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
