Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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