Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
