I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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