You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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