Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
