i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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