is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
