Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
