I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize