Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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