maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
