Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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