he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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