I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
