I like my sex mixed with concussions.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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