We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
