do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
