Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
