Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
