I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
