are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
