i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you will always have a special place in my vag
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
