YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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