I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
